School was always the worst time for me. In fact I can honestly say I hated it so much. I used to pretend to be ill just so I could get sent home and not have to be the target for the bullies. I also used to get so mad in class because the bullies would torment me and I was the one to get sent to remove (a room where you had to sit in silence facing the wall) and get on with your work in silence. There was also a time when I had to come into school either half an hour or an hour before school started to sit outside the headmaster’s room. All of this because I would act up in class and not being able to concentrate or do my work because of bullies.
It wasn’t just name calling that hurt, it was physical pain as well. I went through a hell of a lot of pain when I was a kid at school. One lunchtime I was physically assaulted by a hard faced cow of a girl, I was backed into a corner and she basically went to town on me. Hitting me and kicking me, taunting me all the while a crowd of kids gathered round and just watched. What also made it worse was the fact that no one stepped in to help me. It wasn’t until a teacher was passing by and noticed what was happening that he stepped in and they all suddenly vanished, either walked away or ran away like little cowards that they are.
I never had any friends in school, I literally mean that. Not a single one in primary and secondary school. It was hard and I hated it. But I had to just deal with it.
Even now there are times when I still feel like that little lost girl at school, scared and alone with no one to help me. But then I think of everything good that has happened to me since, how strong I have become, how changed, how different. And then I think to all of those bullies and I think what kind of a rubbish life you are living now.
You can’t let them win. You have to be better than them. Stronger than them.
You are strong
Never stop believing in yourself.